heart

nobody's going to read this anyway. so to hell with it.

it's been three months. it'll be a lie if i say that i don't miss her and that i don't love her. i still do even though she doesn't.

truth is i was never angry at her. i was and still am angry at myself. i'm angry for making her do the things that she did. angry for making her sad. angry for forcing her to leave me.

still, all that i did and still am doing is all for her though she will never notice it. i have to be cruel, to be kind. if it's for her, i don't mind bleeding.

i need her to hate me. i need her to flush me out of her system. i need her to start seeing others. i need her to be happy. i want her to be happy. she deserves it, after all the suffering she got from me. and i deserve this pain.

possibilities

life is about a series of choices.
if a choice made lead to an unwanted result,
changes should be made;
not to the result, but other things.
when you cant get a strike with a throw in bowling,
you dont go changing the arrangement of the pins,
you change your approach etc.
when doing A gets you nowhere,
try doing B.
the universe holds countless possibilities.

everything else

i've decided that not everything is about me.
others' problems are most probably unrelated to me.
others' statements are also most probably unrelated to me.
that's why i make it my policy not to care... starting just now.
if a problem has no mentioning of me in it, then it's not about me.
others should really consider doing the same thing.
everything is not about us.

Lies

what is it with people and their needs to comfort themselves with lies?
if you don't actually mean it, don't say it.
people who you said it to will expect something which you can never deliver.
they will end up disappointed.
they will hate you, whether they show it or not.
i'll always choose to show it, but that's just me.