nobody's going to read this anyway. so to hell with it.
it's been three months. it'll be a lie if i say that i don't miss her and that i don't love her. i still do even though she doesn't.
truth is i was never angry at her. i was and still am angry at myself. i'm angry for making her do the things that she did. angry for making her sad. angry for forcing her to leave me.
still, all that i did and still am doing is all for her though she will never notice it. i have to be cruel, to be kind. if it's for her, i don't mind bleeding.
i need her to hate me. i need her to flush me out of her system. i need her to start seeing others. i need her to be happy. i want her to be happy. she deserves it, after all the suffering she got from me. and i deserve this pain.